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Nike Zoom Fit Agility Cyber Monday 2015 - Michael Jackson traded his tired and true moonwalk for his new and updated perp walk again on Friday when he went to court to plead not guilty to child-molestation charges. The bad news is that he was 21 minutes late for his own arraignment before Judge Rodney Melville. The good news is that his nose did not set off the metal Nike Zoom Fit Agility Cyber Monday 2015 detectors. Oddly enough, neither did the giant metallic ER crest (emblem of the Queen of England) emblazoned on his jacket. The insignia did, however, confirm to the world that the King of Pop is actually the queen of England. Jackos parents (otherwise known as the Queen mum and King of Pops pop), as well as his sister, Janet, and his brother Nike Zoom Fit Agility Cyber Monday 2015 Jermaine, whos royal lineage was passed on to his son Jermajesty were all present. Jermaine, whos career has been floundering since his baby brother reached puberty, is now luckily is enjoying a whole new career as Michaels mouthpiece and a real royal pain he is. In case you were wondering, the medal around Jackos neck was from the Serbian Order of Nike Zoom Fit Agility Cyber Monday 2015 the White Eagle, and the one on his chest was from Her Majestys Royal Transportation Corps. In other words, this white bird wanted to fly the hell outta there! Jacksons true Norma Desmond moment came, however, when he emerged from the courthouse into a mob of well-wishers, justice seekers, reporters and curiosity seekers. Someone asked him what he thought of the Nike Zoom Fit Agility Cyber Monday 2015 crowd. His answer: I love it. I love it. Ready for his close-up, Mr. DeMille. Or maybe thats Judge Melville. Afghan or Taliban, hard to say While no one was looking, or maybe not admitting to it, Afghanistan, or the Islamic Republic of Afghanistan, came up with a new democratic constitution. Democracy means never having to say, Its our way or Nike Zoom Fit Agility Cyber Monday 2015 the highway, buddy to another country. Take some of the articles these people newly freed from the yoke of oppression came up with. For example, now anyone running for president must not only be Muslim, but also not have been convicted of crimes against humanity. But once a Muslim citizen has become president of this democracy, he (and its doubtful it Nike Zoom Fit Agility Cyber Monday 2015 will be a she) gets to set national policy, act as prime minister, appoint all the ministers and supreme-court judges, as well as one-third of parliaments upper house. Its good to be king, er, president. Public education must be in accordance with Islam, and in family matters the state is required to eliminate traditions contrary to Islam. So, if you were Nike Zoom Fit Agility Cyber Monday 2015 looking to open up a burqa shop, Id say, this country is ready for something in a nice retrogression. Beating Bush for marriage Hey, buddy, can you spare $1.5 billion? Thats what President Bush will be looking to spend on bringing the marriage is good message to low-income couples. In fact, a very White House source told The New York Times, Nike Zoom Fit Agility Cyber Monday 2015 The president loves to do that sort of thing in the inner city with black churches, and hes very good at it. Whew. He might be, but the problem isnt in urban black areas. Turns out that aside from Nevada, Britneys favorite state in which to divorce, no region of the United States has a higher divorce rate than the good Nike Zoom Fit Agility Cyber Monday 2015 ol Bible-thumping Bible Belt. In the general population, nearly half of all marriages break up, but in the BB, the divorce rates are roughly 50 percent above the national average. Youve got e-mail . . . From kevindornan: Three questions the presidential debates forgot to address: Is John Kerry the love child of Herman Munster and Abe Lincoln? Did Al Sharpton Nike Zoom Fit Agility Cyber Monday 2015 let Dorothy Hamill cut his hair? And finally, how many chestnuts are living in Howard Deans cheeks? . . . From Rorogers: Keep this confidential, but I wanted to make a few close friends aware of the next expected mergers so you can get in on the ground floor: Federal Express is expected to join its major competitor, UPS, and consolidate Nike Zoom Fit Agility Cyber Monday 2015 as FedUP, and within a week or so, Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become Poupon Pants. Famous Last Words: Donald Trump on his new show: I was famous before, but now Ive become infamous for firing people.Share this:FacebookTwitterGoogleWhatsappEmail .